(Relationships That Fall by the Wayside)

 

Firstly I will address what a mental disorder is.

According to the DSM-5, mental disorders consider these 5 factors:

1. A behavioural or psychological syndrome or pattern that occurs in an individual

2. Reflects an underlying psychobiological dysfunction

3. The consequences of which are clinically significant distress (e.g. a painful symptom) or disability (i.e. impairment in one or more important areas of functioning)

4. Must not be merely an expected response to common stressors and losses (e.g. the loss of a loved one) or a culturally sanctioned response to a particular event (ex. Trance states in religious rituals)

5. Primarily a result of social deviance or conflicts with society

 

The purpose of this article is to try to understand where the line between a person’s mental disorder and personality is. A mental disorder can often put a strain on relationships when a person is unwell. For this reason, relationships can often fall apart. Even when unwell, we are still held accountable. I would also like to explore the journey a person with a mental disorder must go through which is largely out of his/ her control. Understanding your own mental disorder often requires many periods of being unwell.

There is clear change in personality when a person with a mental disorder is well and unwell.

There is also a need to become unwell in order to better understand your mental disorder. The difference is whether a symptom of your mental disorder is valid or not e.g. the first time a person becomes unwell, hallucinations may be seen as real. After becoming unwell the first-time hallucinations may be seen as not real but a sign that you are unwell.

Trauma often coincides with mental disorders making it much more difficult to hold a person who is unwell to account. It is another factor that relates to the person’s personality when they are unwell e.g. someone could say, “He is behaving odd because he or she has a mental disorder and he/she also has an extensive history of past trauma”

Also, a large part of staying well is trial and error. Medications and diagnoses are often reviewed when a person has been unwell. In addition, medications and diagnoses are not usually correct the first time someone is unwell. It may take a few instances of a person becoming unwell before he or she receives the correct medication and diagnosis.

Lastly and most important in a person’s journey to stay well is their capacity to learn about their own disorder and their willingness. A person needs to be willing and capable to learn about themselves and their disorder. A person also needs to be willing to act in a way that is beneficial towards their own wellbeing. Without a capacity and willingness from a person with a mental disorder, a person can remain unwell for the majority of their lives.

To conclude, relationships do often fall apart for people with a mental disorder. Everyone is held accountable whether they have a mental disorder or not. I believe people close to persons with a mental disorder should be aware that getting better does involve an extensive journey with periods of being unwell. People close to persons with a mental disorder should consider a person’s willingness to stay well also considering that the person with the mental disorder is always going to have the mental disorder.

This article is for people with a mental disorder who have lost many relationships because of their mental disorder. It is also for people who are committed to staying well and aiming to live a normal life. This article is also for those that superficially observe people when they are unwell, not seeing the extensive journey someone with a mental disorder undertakes in order to stay well throughout their entire mental health journey.

Lastly, specifically referring to the distinction between a person’s mental disorder and personality, I would like to end this article with the question, “Can a mental disorder ever be separate from a person?” There is no mental disorder without the person.